Samantha Jones Quotes

'' What is it with the weekends now? I swear to God, every guy i've fu**ed since Memorial Day  wants to know what I'm doing this weekend. They just don't get it. My weekends are for meeting new guys so I don't have to keep fu**ing the old ones. ''

'' The bad news is that you are fired, the good news is now i can f**k you. ''

'' Well, I don't know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It's exhausting. ''

'' I'll tell you how to babyproof, use a condom! ''

'' Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get. ''

'' I'm so sick of theese people with children, I'm telling you, they're everywhere! ''

'' Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls, because they can. ''

'' I'm good when i'm good, but when I'am bad I'm even better.''

''F**k me badly once, shame on you. F**k me badly twice, shame on me. ''